What a weird week. It started out somewhat normal but if I didn't have a sense of humor I would be a little upset. No, wait a minute scratch that, I would be VERY UPSET. And if its enough to get me upset I have to wonder what effect this must have on the population out there that has no training on online marketing.
Lets face it - a lot of this stuff is embarrassing.
Let me cut to the chase - a lot of people want my money. They want yours too but I am a little easier to get to than most people. I work out of my home and don't have a gatekeeper.... I usually pick up the phone when I am in my office.
I am sure these guys are pretty good as a whole. I happened to run into an individual who was wishy washy about our business dealings. After inquiring about their services a conversation sparked about my affiliate program. This sales rep wanted to not only take 50% of my profits but also charge me $500 bucks up front... (I have no idea what for). The best thing to do in a case like this is to just hang up the phone.
This went on for a while - back and forth. Missed calls and lots of voice mail. First they wanted no money, just my 50% that I was offering. Then they wanted the money AND the 50%. Sometimes they would leave messages on my voice mail and pretend that they did not call that day -- it was like WHO'S ON FIRST.
** And whats with the pouting? Do grown men pout? These guys did.
A few years back these guys were the bad boys of Internet Marketing. In fact I had inquired about how to partner up with them. But since I am a certified SEO, (yes, they did not know what that was....) I had little use for hiring them as mentors. But get this....
In order to partake in their "system" apparently you have to be married for some strange reason. The answer I got for this was very cryptic, silly and strange. According to the group at Shawn Casey and Associates a wife will support you in times of great indescision. Well thats comforting to know but i advised him too that a wife will also covet an 50% of everything you own and leave you stranded living in your car. All the more reasons not to do it.
Casey's group stood firm. Not only did they not take notes of our earlier discussions but called me relentlessly and batter rammed the price home.... $10,000. Sorry boys. But you never answered any of my questions.
"I don't know what our position is on that but I am sure its a very good one"
"Sir, if I could have you speak to our senior account manager I'm sure we could research that for you"
When I informed them that I was positioned for profit they got all up in arms. This bit of interesting information went in one ear and out the other.
"SIR" (again with the sir, what am I .. Sir Lawrence Olivier?) "Have you heard of Other People's Money?"..... I replied well yes. In laymans terms they are called credit cards. I am not interested in maxing out myself in credit card debt to partake in your program. Again.... I had to repeat.... DO ANY OF YOU KNOW NOTHING KNUCKLEHEADS KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HOW TO CREATE RSS NETWORKS?
The recent scam on Podomatic had me laughing out loud. SEO Firms are skimming podcast pages for email addresses, (another form of spamming) and its known as email harvesting. From there they take these addresses and start spamming the masses with HIGH TRAFFIC SECRETS REVEALED !!!.... Is that hysterical or what.....??
Wait.. it gets better.
These guys promise OPT IN success, high ranking results and a lot more. Oh, he wants his money too, how much? Its expensive. If you see this guy lurking around beware - hes a crook and a phoney and is up to no good. Here is his information.....
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WORD TO THE STUPID - Never try to scam a certified SEO. By the way, if your SEO guy is advertising this way to sell HIS OWN SERVICES, he doesn't know shit about SEO. So keep your credit card locked up tight in your wallet where it belongs.
Ted Cantu posted this on May 14, 2007 and can be found at http://www.1seomichigan.com